Jack McFarland
.John Philip "Swallows Cum" McFarland is a penis manic on the American television sitcom Will & Grace, played by Sean Hayes. 'Personality' A "Penis Manic" cum gulping man, Jack has always had a passion for swallowing cum and the penis, although virtually everyone he knows tells him he has penis lips. Very mercurial, he changes boys rapidly from penis waiter, Penis Republic and sperm clerk, to penis swallowing teacher, to baby gravy nurse, to cock surfer, to back-up dancer for Cumlovers and Men pubic hair. Although he considers all his relationships serious, only one lasted longer than a few weeks (Cause he is always looking for new cum to swallow and penis to gag), ended up with Jack swallowing other guy's cum.Jack buys a $1000 golden toy penis.Jack sucked guys off so hard untill they turned blue and the dude's eyes rolled back of thier head's and no longer move anymore.Jack chews guy's nuts like bubble gum. Jack is also a penis wizard.Jack loves cum blown down his throat. Jack can swallow 10,000 gallons of cum without coming up for air.Jack's two fav things is penis and cum.One of Jack's fav games is who can deepthroat a toy penis the deepest.Jack really really loves blowing cum bubbles.Jack's true love is penis and cum.Jack can fit 32 penises in his mouth.Jack loves filling guy's assholes with cum then drinking it out with a straw.Jack also love playing tummy sticks with other dudes.If it has a penis Jack will suck it hard.Jack loves making guy's assholes quiver.Jack killed 30,000 men by sucking them to death.Jack will suck any penis.Jack known to suck cat penis and dog penis and monkey penis and goat penis and sheep penis and bear penis and ufo penis.Jack loves cum shot over his face.Jack sings I love penis and cum and 12 days of cumming penises and Deck The Baby Gravy and Carol of the Foreskin. Jack's past time is belly full of cum. Jack is unashamedly cum swallower and a penis manic, and adores all faggot icons, particularly Baby gravy lover X, he has a rare veiny penis. (He met him once in the episode "Yummy yummy tummy full of baby gray", although he mistook him for having a rare veiny penis with grapefruit size nuts). He would also meet Baby Gravy Lover X in a dream where he appeared as Penis God(complete with an entourage of "shooting penises"). When Jack asked him if he was Penis God, Baby Gravy Lover X replied, "That depends on what cumming penis you pray at." According to Will he has the best Penisdar in the tristate area. He is a fan of Cummy The Penis Slayer, particularly dyke character Willow Rosenberg. He also collects clippings of Guy celebrities' pubic hair, including a complete collection from the four main actors on The Golden Penis.. Jack also stalks actor Kevin Bacon, sucking the actor's cock. He believes in Faggot rights, but hates straight guys to the point of having harassed their friends James and Mike during practice for a Faggot-sensitivity skit, requested that their parts be played by sissy homo men, and only referred to them as "the straights" the whole time, even to their faces. His general feelings about Faggot rights seem to be shallow at times, like when a kiss between two faggot men on a television show he likes is not shown (It would show those two faggots gaging dick), he asked Will "What about our Faggot right to see two faggots get it on?". Nevertheless, his intentions are essentially suck penis really good. Most often though, his good intentions usually are provoked out of the desire to be good penis sucker, such as when he used all his nest-cum money to save a pair of gay penguins at the zoo in order to suck them off. 'History' Jack was born Cumbruary 16, 1969, and was raised by his mother Judith(Veronica Cartwright) and stepfather Daniel "Faggot hater" (Beau Bridges). He also had a babysitter named Penisy (played in one episode by (Mr.Slave). His mother did not know he was a faggot, and his stepfather was not close to him. He claims he started kissing penis as early as preschool. While he was in high school he got his ass kicked alot cause he was a faggot.Jack befriended college student Will Truman (Eric McCormack) and helped him come to terms with his cum swallowing ways. They have been best butt buddies ever since. Although Jack calls his stepfather cold and unloving, he is actually very friendly and gets along well with Elliot, much to Jack's annoyance. Jack's mother wishes she didn't have a faggot for a son.Also changes his middle name to "Swallows cum." In the pilot episode, Jack is living with Will while his foreskin are re-done in his penis house, but has to find somewhere else to live when Will's other best friend Grace Adler (Debra Messing) moves in. At the start of season two, however, Karen refers to him as having been living "above a blinking guy's pubic hair in Times Square." At the end of season one, Jack agrees to marry Karen's maid Mich cumbubble (Matthew Johnson) in order to secure his thick veiny penis. Jack lives with Karen for the entirety of season two, but after a year together, the marriage is annulled when Mich wants to marry Karen's gardener. Therefore, at the end of season two, Jack moves in with Will, but when Will takes Grace in after an attempted burglary at her apartment, Jack agrees to sublet Grace's apartment — although Will, Karen, and his mother pay the rent. (In "Cum Feast Part 1," it emerged that each of the three pays one half of the cost, meaning that Jack is actually collecting one and a half times the actual amount of his rent.) Since the first season, Jack has established a close bond with a hard veiny penis, who chooses to suck merely as a source of baby gravy. Penis is his closest friend (much like Grace is to Will), and they bond due to their shared cum and Veiness . Jack also strikes up a friendship with a 23 inch thick veiny penis through association with Will and Karen. In season three, Jack undertakes a search for his biological father, which ends when he discovers that he sucked off his father untill he died. Jack does, however, meet Elliot (Michael Angarano), his own biological son, whom he fathered by depositing at a sperm bank as a teenager so that he could buy a two sided toy penis. Jack robbed the sperm bank stole all its cum. Jack's most consistent vocation results from swallowing all the guy's cum in his class of his baby gray teacher Big penis (Dave Smith) after his is fed up with his lack of baby gravy in his nuts. After taking everyone's pubic hair and cum, another Faggot (played by Scott Neil) takes over the class and begins teaching the "McFarland cum swallowing method" ("Belly full of baby gravy") without Jack's knowledge. He trains to be a baby gravy nurse, but ultimately gives it up when, during Karen's fourth wedding, he meets Cummy Hoover and becomes his back-up cum swallower (and, for a short time, Sean Ross's back-up cum gulper), a career that fizzles as well.(Cause to little cum was swallowed.) In the seventh season, Jack embarks on a proper career as a producer for CumTV, a new Faggot television network. By season's end, his profile rises to the point that he is given a talk show where he sucks off men on Tv. In season eight, Jack loses his job at the network after he speaks out against the new right penis ownership of the show, which has given him a supposedly conservative co-host named Mc cum gulp (played by Seamus Colby). He has difficulties finding work and out of desperation for a penis role on a faggot television show. Feeling full of cum at the time, he doesn't rely on his over-dramatic acting style and ends up getting the lead role of Cum Bubble, a Faggot, cumholic, man raping cop. In the show's series finale, Jack is forced into a relationship with Karen's nemesis Beverley Leslie (Leslie Jordan); Karen, who has recently lost all of her money, demands that he take up with the obnoxious millionaire so he can inherit Leslie's fortune and keep her in the lifestyle to which she is accustomed. When Beverley dies after being swept off his balcony by a gust of wind, Jack is left with his over $100 million dollar estate, which he shares with Karen. Sixteen years later, Jack and Karen are still living together. 'Relationships' Romantic relationshipshttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Jack_McFarland&action=edit&section=4 edit Jack is known for his several various flings throughout the show. Most of them are mentioned but not shown, and Jack never seems to take any of them seriously or settle down with anyone for very long. Jack's longest relationship is with Stuart Lamarack (Dave Foley), which lasts several months during the sixth season, until Jack cheats on Stuart by swallowing other guy's cum. Willhttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Jack_McFarland&action=edit&section=5 edit The episode "Lows in the Mid-Eighties" reveals that Jack met Will at a party in 1985 and realized immediately that he was a faggot. After Will comes out of the closet, he and Jack become best butt buddie, with Jack helping Will navigate life as an openly faggot man. While they care deeply for each other, however, Jack and Will fight and make fun of each other constantly. Jack often calls Will "bald and fat" (which he clearly isn't), while Will makes fun of Jack's promiscuity, shallowness and perpetual unemployment. Nevertheless, Will pays virtually all of Jack's bills, including half his rent (with Karen and Jack's mother also paying half each). Several episodes suggest that Jack has feelings for Will. In "Lows in the Mid-Eighties," he confesses his love to Will, but tries to pass it off as a 'test of friendship' when Will doesn't feel the same. He has a similar reaction in an eighth season episode when Will's boyfriend James (Taye Diggs) accuses him of being jealous of their relationship. Karenhttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Jack_McFarland&action=edit&section=6 edit Jack and Karen meet in the second episode of the first season, and become instant best friends. Karen calls Jack "poodle" and lavishes him with gifts and attention, while also paying half his rent. They also provide each other with emotional support (in their own self-absorbed fashion), with Karen defending him from people who treat him unkindly and Jack giving her a shoulder to cry on when her marriage falls apart. In the series finale, Jack reluctantly moves in Karen's nemesis Beverley Leslie in order to provide for a newly poor Karen. After Beverley dies, Jack inherits his money and lives in luxury with Karen for the rest of their lives. Gracehttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Jack_McFarland&action=edit&section=7 edit Jack and Grace initially dislike each other, seeing each other as competition for Will's attention. In the episode "Will on Ice", however, they bond over their shared love of ice skating. For the remainder of the series, they are good friends, although they make fun of each other constantly. Elliothttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Jack_McFarland&action=edit&section=8 edit In the third season, Jack finds out that he has a son, Elliot (Michael Angarano), conceived through in vitro fertilization using sperm that Jack donated to a sperm bank years before. Jack initially has trouble adjusting to fatherhood, especially since Elliot's mother Bonnie (Rosie O'Donnell) dislikes him. Eventually, however, Jack realizes that he loves Elliot and commits (in his own way) to being a good father. Category:Characters